Children, Children...the raising and rearing of my children has been the focus of my life and Tina's life over the last twenty-some years. The process has been filled with much joy and some pain, much happiness and some sadness, much hope and some anxiety. Much of what I thought I knew about life before my children came along has certainly been completely rewritten.
I see young adult friends of mine who now have very young children or are expecting a child and my heart goes out to them. I was in a fast food restaurant the other day having lunch and a young mom with two children in tow was sitting across from me. I watched in amazement at her attentiveness to her children, both her anticipation of events- like catching a cup before it spills and a director's sense of keen timing and exquisite choreography.
As she was steering her children out the door (and they were not particularly happy at the moment), she had a look on her face that reminded me of somebody who has been through all this before- calm, bland even, but self-assured. As I watched her completing the ritual of inserting the children in the mini-van...she was smiling to herself as she demonstrated her mastery of yet another meal accomplished for herself and her two children.
As parents, we are called upon simply to love....to love always, to love without condition, to speak truth to our children always and to provide them with support for their own growth.
It is hard as a parent to not get caught up in the vicarious feelings of trying to live through your children or somehow viewing their choices as a reflection of your own.
I truly enjoy this spiritual poem of Kahlil Gibran and on reading it, I am always reminded of my place and my true role in relationship to my children.
Enjoy,
Peace and love,
tony

On Children
Kahlil Gibran

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The Archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let our bending in the Archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.